finalization
is like rusty locksmaking its last turn-vibrationscreepy as putrefied squeals grind like chalky nails; scratching sensations akin to spiders crossing flesh-forever wondering if those doors are...
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Hiya paura. Awesome short piece; profound, concise, and true. My only nit's the mention of 'rust' twice. In this short of a piece I'd recommend replacing one of them with a synonym of equal or lesser...
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and BTW, it may just be me bringing on my baggage, but I couldn't help but think of certain women whom I've written off for good and the horrible empty feeling left in the pit of my stomach which...
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ok smikes,dropped one of the rusts... hope you like the change, I think it works better!
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damn, dude. I'd've been hunky dory with equal or lesser value, and there you go above and beyond. what a fine word. kudos, senor Amador! - The Smikester
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absolutely superb poem..no equivacation...just that...it pisses me off that work like this isnt immediately recognised...what the fuckukaratcha are we doing here!!!absofuckinglutely brilliantlouis
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Hi Paura-I like that the title is part of the poem's opening line.The images here are vivid. Nice job.Consider combining "wondering if" with the line beneathit so that it reads: "wondering if those...
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This is very well done, P. It reads well and the images are strong. There's so much to consider in this short write and that's what counts- putting a whole lot into a few lines. It's hard to do, but...
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S Michael Simms,thanks,.. I almost feel like this is a fortune cookie slogan. roger ramjet2668,thanks, and it shouldn't piss you off. Not everyone's work is for everyone, and I appreciate the vote of...
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bluezoe,almosty forgot about ya there! Thanks for the compliments! Believe it or not, it actually took me close to two weeks just to come up with that!
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although there are one or two grammatical problems here, I do appreciate the sort of aching tone you set with your choice of words. One gets the impression of just how unbearable and disquieting some...
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bluezoe,thansk so much! Bob the guy who writes stuff,thanks for looking. My stuff is written with the purpoise of vocal recital. Could you please point out where you feel there are grammatical errors?...
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liked the brevity of this piece paura. could only be me, but i would like to remove the article 'is' in line 1. the last three line brought some chills. great great write
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i am so pleased to find this as poem of the week. It's one of your best and deserving.Congratulations, P.!
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Senor Amador,I have watched you hone your craftalongside a few others, some greatand some floundering (like me)for some time and am pleasedto see how far along your continuedperseverance has brought...
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smikes and zoe,thank you both for the congrats on this. And an extra special thanks to the whole team and our reguler posters who have continued to support a nuruturing environment for our poetic...
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enjoyed this. Wonderfully tightly done. Got a real claustrophobic feel from it and could here the sounds from like inside a cupboard inside a warddrobe inside a cellar that was double locked.
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